10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

Parenting changes us. Things never even considered for conversations slip past our lips. When you step out of mainstream a bit, things tend to sound just a little stranger, until you realize they are just another part of your new life.

Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

That is not a bath toy!
I know. It is squishy and pliable. It looks like a cup. And it is. Your menstrual cup. How do they always find that thing? All the more reason to boil it before and after use.

Don’t flush!
This one is twofold. Most people know the “If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down,” right? But then you add in using family cloth, and we are in a whole new ball park of DON’T FLUSH.

You may not have milkies and cookies!
Extended nursing has many joys and sorrows. But I don’t think any of us ever thought we were going to need to limit children in this manner! Just a little food hidden in their cheeks and YOWZERS. Biting, the food particles, just ouch.

Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

That diaper is so cute!
Who knew we could trade our personal style in for {affiliate link} adorable patterns for our children’s backsides? Cloth diapers have shot past the age of plastic pants and into the world of designer fabrics and personalized appliques. But, we save so much by not using disposables, right?

No penises or vulvas at the dinner table!
If you are working to honor a child’s need to be clothing-free, there comes a time when limits need to be set for the comfort of the whole family. It is easy to say “clothes are required when leaving the house,” but this was one limit that I didn’t ever think I would have to set.

I couldn’t live without my carrier.
Babywearing is the second most important tool in my parenting kit. Physical contact with our children is important no matter their age, but those early days/weeks/months/years are especially important for them. Soft structure, wraps, slings, so many choices and I can never seem to have too many. I can only image how wonderful it would be if I had to carry around twins!

Natural Parents Network: 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

I can’t believe the placenta is almost gone!
It seems every mom I know who has gone the route of placenta encapsulation speaks highly of it. So highly, that many of them have a little cache of capsules hiding away in their fridge or freezer just in case they find themselves in an especially horrible PMS phase or even for pre-menopausal use.

Do you want some breastmilk for that?
It is called liquid gold for more than just nutritional or comfort reasons. It also does the trick for some amazing alternative uses. I would rather not discuss how many times have I gotten a strange look for offering some to a nonlactating friend dealing with pink eye in the family.

Where is the coconut oil?
No other substance gets used in any room of the house like coconut oil. Dry skin, rashy butts, sexual lubricant … the list really does go on and on.

The baby needs to go potty!
Elimination communication was the probably the FARTHEST thing from my mind when it came to parenting. But, fewer diaper changes won out after we learned that even brand new babies know, and can show you, that they are about to pee or poop.

What kind of things have you said that were beyond your wildest, pre-child imagination?

Photo Credits: Author

6 Responses to 10 Things I NEVER Thought I Would Say as a (Natural) Parent

  1. Bethany Harrington

    “I should NOT have taken my placenta pill with beer” uurp. 😉

  2. Momma Jorje  

    Such a fun list! I’ve definitely come a long way, baby!

  3. Adrienne Anderson

    Ha!! Love this! Though we do allow penises *at* the table, we’ve had to limit them *on* the table! Ha! And yes, “He needs to go potty” is one that’s said a lot here with our baby (and toddler)! Oh man, I’ve definitely said almost all of these, too funny! 🙂

  4. Kate Carvey

    If you wee on my foot one more time, you’re getting out of the family shower!

  5. Ashley F  

    Coconut oil is the best!! So glad to have discovered it through cloth diapering mamas!

  6. sarah

    Someone said that coconut oil is safe for cloth diapers, is that true? I’m afraid the oil on the cloth will repel liquids. also my dryer says right on the lid to never dry any thing that’s ever had any type of oil on it. any thoughts or experiences with this?