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12 Responses to Is He Already Behind?

  1. CKCH  

    My son’s favourite toys are rocks and water. He get’s pretty in to the them. It’s surprising how creative a two year old can get with just a few rocks and a bucket of water. I like how inexpensive it is…:)

  2. Momma Jorje

    How old is your son, if you don’t mind? (As I sit here and wonder about my own daughter’s development.) I’m not real sure I would hand my daughter toothpicks just yet.

    • Danielle Reiner  

      My son is 20 months old. As far as the toothpicks are concerned, at first he was quite carefully supervised. Then, after watching the way he interacted with them, several times, I felt it was safe and that he could be trusted. If he ever demonstrates that he cannot be trusted with those, or any other material or toy, it will have to be shelved, temporarily, until he can.

      • Momma Jorje

        My daughter is now 16 months and I found a very similar activity to the toothpick idea! I’ve been cooking spaghetti lately. I like to break the noodles in half before I cook them. I usually put them in a glass to eyeball how much I need. Sasha likes putting them in the glass for me, generally one noodle at a time. If she misses, they fall onto the counter and she picks them up again.

        Anyway, it reminded me of your article and I wanted to dig this back up and tell you about it. 😀

  3. kreeeestamama  

    Hear! Hear! 🙂

  4. Semi-crunchy Mama  

    I also find myself wondering, “Is she behind?” It’s been hard, especially in the last few months, since most all of her friends have started preschool. I try to remind myself of all the learning that takes place without us really even trying. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Danielle Reiner  

      The preschool thing does make i more difficult. I’m sure we’ll start to feel the pressure a bit more then, as well.

      But rest assured that she is learning quite a bit! If you ever need more of a reminder just sit back and watch for awhile. Watch her come up with rich, fantastic stories. Watch her move and manipulate her body.

      She wants to learn, she wants to grow, so she does!

  5. Dionna  

    Being an OCD perfectionist, I used to worry about Kieran’s development – was I doing enough, was he on track, should I be doing this and this and this . . . and then I got to the point where you are, and I started to relax. And lo and behold, nothing earth-shattering happened. He kept on growing and developing and learning even without me stressing 🙂 Isn’t it a nice place to be?!

  6. Betsy

    Totally. And I can assure you it gets easier to not worry about “achieving milestones” with your subsequent children. I remember being a little stressy about my firstborn not walking till she was 15 months old, with my second I was like, take your time sweetie, and now with my third, I’m kind of like, please don’t start walking so soon…

  7. Amy  

    It’s interesting how we often define life by ideas and experiences – instead of reality. Such as children learning inherently like you have noticed.

    It’s also nice to see the natural observation of a loving parent. If he ever is “behind”, you’ll know and you’ll do something about it 🙂

  8. Darcel @ The Mahogany Way  

    I used to worry about hitting milestones and such when I had my first.
    Then my 2nd came along and I relaxed and now I have my 3rd and it feels good to watch them grow.

    Doctors and sometimes even well meaning friends can make us worry.

  9. Lauren  

    So true! It always strikes me as a bit of cognitive dissonance to think we have to teach our children everything, when we don’t have to teach them to eat, or roll over, or talk, or walk — we trust them (ok, most of us trust them) to do these things on their own, but then we get wrapped up in the idea that they’ll never learn anything else on their own. But my 3-year-old learns things daily without specific instruction, and I’m still learning things as an adult without needing to be taught. So, yeah, relaxing and letting it happen makes perfect sense.

    Your breakdown of all the categories your son learns in reminds me of how unschoolers will make the tasks they do sound nice and school-y for a transcript or progress report. It’s amazing how advanced kids sound once you put fancy terms to their skills! 🙂