Bedtime Connection

Written by NPN Guest on October 29th, 2012

This entry was posted in Nighttime Parenting, Responding With Sensitivity, Safe Sleep and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Lights go out. Bubbling voices start to calm. Wiggling bodies begin to settle.

It’s the end of the day with the promise of a new one soon to come. As a busy mother, I look forward to bedtime. Not only because it means “me time” is soon to commence (though admittedly, there’s that, too), but mostly because once the bedroom light goes dark, everyone’s voices soften, and … maybe it’s the comfort of bed or the soft warm glow of the nightlight, or maybe it’s because Mommy is calm, and there’s nothing to “do”, nowhere to go, but … once heads hit pillows, little ones start talking. And THAT’S what I really love.

Now, admittedly, if you have young children, you know they tend to talk all the time. Yet, at night, there’s a difference about it — it’s not just chattering about this or that but real TALKING … and I get to listen and cuddle — for as long as I’d like, as long as they allow. It’s the most peaceful time of day.

Bedtime Cuddles

Sometimes I tell a story. Sometimes they do. Sometimes I sing a song. Sometimes they tell jokes. Sometimes they tell me about their day at school — what someone did or said — and most importantly, how it made them FEEL. Sometimes they tell me about things that scare them, or things they’ve been wondering about. Deep questions I’m often unlikely to know the answers to, but I try to answer anyhow. Regardless of my inability to fully explain the reason for our being here, or where we go when we die, or why we dream, I still treasure these moments of revelation as they give me insight into my children that I don’t really get at any other time of day. I get to know my children better, and they to know me.

It’s so important to keep those lines of communication between yourself & your children open, particularly if you — or your kids — have had a rough day, or a day apart. I know it can be challenging to lie down at the end of a long day with your kids — when you may be thinking of a million and one things you’d like to get done in the limited time you may have between their bedtime and yours. But, there’s nothing so important as connection with your children.

This evening, try taking a bit of time to relax, cuddle, and just listen after you say goodnight, but before you leave the room. Be open to what your kids have to say in the dark — without judgment, without routines and schedules, without places to be or things to do. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you learn about them — and about yourself. Remember it’s fleeting, this time with our kids. Embrace it while you can.


Kelly, Author of

Kelly is an advocate for peaceful parenting. She blogs at

6 Responses to Bedtime Connection

  1. Courtney  

    Sounds like us – the chatter becomes conversation. The bedtime routine takes a while, and when I’m busy I’ll grumble that I could use that time. But when I think about it, I wouldn’t trade it for all the time in the world. You’re right -it’s when everyone’s connected.

  2. Joella  

    With a new baby on the way, I have tried to be more conscious of not rushing bedtime with my daughter, and using it as a time to connect and bond while we sing songs, read books, and she tells stories. The genuine snuggles and kisses at the end of the day are so precious!

  3. Amy  

    Thank you for this, just lovely. And true. 🙂

  4. Laura

    Appreciate the focus on connection. I used to dread the lengthy bedtime routine, but I’ve come to appreciate it as a time to connect.

  5. Momma Jorje  

    What a lovely post! I try to create real connection among the entire family at dinner as we play “High / Low.” There is still dinner, though, and things happening.

    I have trouble taking the time at bedtime because one is 3 and one is 1… I usually need to go tend to the baby or he is on my back fussing to go to sleep, too.

    Bedtime is all too often a struggle for me, but this sounds so beautiful. I’m going to try to keep it in mind and see if I can work some of this peace into our relationship.

  6. Momma Jorje  

    Well, I’ve been working on this time for the past week and every night is good, restful results. We often just talk about the stars projected on the ceiling.