Category Archives: Consensual Living

Seeking harmony with each family member

• Redefining Misbehavior Part II: The Need For Connection

  One of Bettner’s Four C’s of human needs is Connectedness. “Misbehavior” is often a result of a child feeling disconnected. A parent creates disconnection with their child when they give no attention, partial attention, or doesn’t meet agreements for alone time. Conversely, a parent meets the need for connection by providing positive, loving attention.  MORE

• Less Is More

  Sometimes our expressions of love for our children might not be what they seem. With all my hugs and kisses, of course I was expressing my love for my son, but he wasn’t experiencing my love as love, but rather as an encroachment to be endured. The message I thought I was communicating was not the message that was being perceived.  MORE

• 5 Steps to Reduce Power Struggles With Children

  The Guidance Method is a simple, but very effective, five step process for connecting and guiding our kids in a way that helps them feel confident to be their best selves and make great behaviour choices – even when we are not around.  MORE

• Handling Disagreements: One Important Thing We Can Model for Our Children

  How often do we forget to model respect? How often do we mumble swear words at the speeding driver, grumble about something our partner forgot to do? Ever catch yourself shouting something mean to your partner, perhaps name calling in the heat of the moment? Ariadne shares tips for modeling respect for our children.  MORE

• Rewards: The Other Edge of the Sword

  Regardless of form, rewards and punishment both heavily involve extrinsic motivation – fear of punishment or the hope of a reward – in order to coerce others into behaving in a certain way.  MORE

• Redefining Misbehavior Part I: What is Misbehavior?

  What is this thing that occupies the minds’ of parents we call “misbehavior”? What defines misbehavior and is there another way of looking at it? This is part 1 of a series looking at misbehavior and what drives it.  MORE

• Respecting Children’s Boundaries

  Recently, I went to my parents’ house to visit my extended family. It was a completely solo trip (No husband! No kids!), and I got to relax and visit with my little nephews.  I really enjoyed my time playing with them, and they seemed to enjoy hanging out with just me. When it was time to leave, I sought out my oldest …  MORE

• AP Without a Family Bed

  Early on, one of my greatest attractions to Attachment Parenting was the way that it focused on meeting the child’s needs – even when it went against the grain. I loved the concept of honoring the child, and working to meet the needs of everyone in the family, instead of forcing the child to comply with the desires of the parents, while sacrificing his or her own wants or needs.  MORE

• Becoming a Gentle Parent

  For most people, becoming a gentle parent means a smaller change than they may think. I share three small but key differences that turned my parenting around and helped me get the most out of my relationships with my kids.  MORE

• Teenagers and Autonomy

  Allowing teenagers the independence to make their own choices can be frightening for many parents.  MORE

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