Family Traditions + To Santa Or Not To Santa

December 14th, 2010 | 2 Comments
Written by NPN_Admin
Posted in Balance, Belief

Welcome to the December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let’s Talk Traditions

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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We asked NPN and Code Name: Mama readers to share some of their own family traditions to include in the December Carnival of Natural Parenting. Below are the some of the beloved memories, age-old rituals, and brand new traditions that you shared.
Keep reading for snippets from some of the posts published around the natural parenting blogosphere lately on the Santa Dilemma.
And please leave a comment sharing one of your family traditions, and/or your thoughts on Santa Claus.

Winter Holiday Traditions
Jennifer:
We make a fort in the living room, watch Christmas movies and decorate Gingerbread houses. It is great to spend time together, creating and working on a common goal.

Rebekah, Author of Liberated Family:
For Winter Solstice we go to a guided tour around a Native American archeological site known as Spiro Mounds. The mounds line up with the sunset during the Solstice and Equinox sunsets. It’s very cool and the history is fascinating. Afterwards, we go home and give our son (now sons) a gift to celebrate the solstice. At some point during all of this we read our book about the history of Winter Solstice.

Heather, NPN Editor:
Every December for the past three years, my son and I have volunteered at Santa’s Workshop, which is a local used and new toy drive for less fortunate kids in our community. We bring all the toys my son has outgrown or no longer plays with for donations. At Santa’s Workshop, we go through each and every toy and clean them up to make them look “new” again, then set everything up like a toy store for the parents to come in and do their shopping (at no cost). We have a lot of fun together and it gives me the opportunity to teach him valuable lessons about the holidays, giving, sharing, and helping and thinking of others.

Amber:
My whole family purchases “Christmas PJ’s” that we don’t wear until Christmas Eve. All of us (siblings, significant others, children, and sometimes even friends!) sleep over at my mom’s house on Christmas Eve wearing our new pj’s. We each choose one gift to open that night. If you happen to choose socks, oh well! The rest of your presents will be waiting the next day. This made my mom get very creative in her wrapping techniques!

Lindsay:
Giving terribly confusing “clues” about Christmas presents when pestered!

Stacy, Author of Mama-Om:
My favorite tradition is keeping the lights off all day on the day before Solstice (we use candles, and I admit we kept the Christmas tree lights on!). On noon on Solstice, we do a simple “welcoming the sun” ritual by hanging a watercolor sun (that we paint and cut-out) in our big window. Then it’s to the beach, where we draw a spiral in the sand and take turns walking the labyrinth toward the center, to the dark days; in the center, the solstice; and back out, toward the coming light. It is so wonderful standing in the middle, looking out on the water.

Alice:
For the holidays, my husband sneaks into our bedrooms on Christmas Eve while we’re sleeping & leaves stockings stuffed with goodies. We all awake to the surprise of what he’s put in them, and we all stay in bed to play and enjoy the trinkets in our pj’s. It’s a wonderful, simple tradition that helps us stretch out those languid morning minutes. My husband’s parents did it for them, and now he’s doing it for our kids — I think it’s his favorite part of the holidays too!

Crystal:
My favorite Christmas tradition is to put out the nativity set in early December without baby Jesus. Then, on Christmas morning, I put him in the manger before anyone wakes up. This gives us a month or more to talk about the true meaning of Christmas.

Ruth:
The last thing we open on Christmas Morning are always the Christmas stockings. I loved sneaking around after my daughters were in bed on Christmas Eve “playing Santa.” Even now that they are adults I find myself tiptoeing down the stairs after they are all asleep to fill the stockings!

Brenda, Author of Attached to My Boys:
I was born and raised in south TX close to San Antonio, and growing up my family always had tamales, chili, enchiladas, and all sorts of Mexican food for a Christmas Eve feast. It is a tradition I love to carry on for my children.

Floofy:
We leave small gifts on a random doorstep in the middle of the night with a short poem telling them they don’t know us and to please pass on the love.

Other Traditions

Emily:
We took pictures of Atraiu with my husband’s leather jacket (which also belonged to HIS father) a few days after he was born, we plan to take pictures every year around his birthday. If we have a daughter we’ll take her pictures with my wedding dress (which was my great grandmother’s wedding dress as well).

Karen:
My favorite tradition is definitely birthday week. Anyway you wanna split the week as long as your birthday falls in it. Start on your birthday, end on your birthday, have your birthday mid week, I don’t care. NO CHORES for a WHOLE week! My parents started that when I was young and I carry it on in my family.

To Santa Or Not To Santa

Quite a few natural parenting bloggers tackled the question of whether they felt comfortable actively “doing” Santa Claus with their children. Here are snippets from each post, please click on over to read the rest.

The Great Santa Debate:
“My four year old daughter is still in that interesting age where she believes in fairies but says that ‘trolls are just made-up to scare people’. She knows the story of St. Nicholas and how children throughout the world have celebrated his day. We read her stories about Santa Claus and allow her to come up with her own conclusions. When she wonders how St. Nicholas could still be alive so many centuries later, how he gets to all those houses, and why we bring presents to kids whose parents can’t afford any if Santa’s elves can just make presents, I first ask her what she believes.”
~Read more from Candace Lindemann

Honoring Belief and Authenticity During the Holidays:
“The next year, at the age of six, he asked is Father Time was really real? I told him that I could answer his question and that the answer would be one of two – either yes or no. If it was yes, life would go on as it had and he would still believe. However, if it was no, would he be happy no longer believing? I asked him a hard question. Which was more important to him: knowing for certain what the answer was or believing regardless?”
~Read more from Living Peacefully with Children

I Do, I Do, I Do Believe in Santa Claus:
“Do your kids write letters to Santa with loooong lists of “wants”? Like prayer, which should also not be a list of wants, letters to Santa should include thanks, wishes for others, and then a single want. My letters as a child were never extensive lists. The excitement was in the writing and sending (Macy’s has a beautiful mailbox that makes a wonderful tradition).”
~Read more from Baby Dust Diaries

On Being Honest With Our Children:
“I never have been keen on the idea of telling my kids that Santa brings the Christmas presents, and here are just a few reasons why:
1. We work our butts off to afford a few special presents for the kids, and I’m not about to let some imaginary man take credit for it.
2. Kids always find out that Santa isn’t real eventually, and many end up hurt or disappointed.
3. I’ve always wanted to be 100% honest with my kids, in a way that is age-appropriate, without dumbing anything down or telling lies that I will later have to unravel. I want my kids to trust me – not wonder what else I’ve lied about.”
~Read more from The Feminist Breeder

Santa:
“I am excited about following in my mom’s footsteps and being the best Santa I can be to my children. I won’t manipulate Santa to get “good” behavior – mostly because “good” and “bad” aren’t words we use in our house. We set limits, and we model appropriate behavior.”
~Read more from Toddler in Tow

The Santa Dilemma:
“When direct questions about his realness come up, I turn the conversation to them – allowing them to formulate their own opinions, like:
Question: Does Santa deliver all the presents in one night?
Answer: Do you think that’s possible to do? How many kids are there in the world? How big is the world? How fast would he have to fly to make that possible?
Question: Does Santa come down everyone’s chimney?
Answer: Does everyone have a chimney? What about kids who don’t?”
~Read more from KellyNaturally.com

Santa Isn’t Welcome at My House:
“I am anti-Santa . . . for my own home. I really don’t care what you do with your kids. Do I think it’s lying? Yeah, I do. It’s not something I’m comfortable with. I work really hard to try to be as age-appropriately honest with my kids as possible. But I also don’t hold anything against anyone who feels that it’s all in good fun.”

~Read more from Christie Haskell

We Don’t Do Santa:
“The fact that we’re going to emphasize that Santa is the spirit of giving, not a literal person who delivers presents, does not mean that Kieran will not be allowed to pretend and fantasize. Heck, Kieran acts out his favorite stories about peddlers and monkeys, broken down engines, dinosaurs, and more. Why not Santa?
But just as we don’t foster a belief that The Little Engine that Could is a real live train, nor will we help build up a fantasy world that involves Santa sliding down chimneys.”
~Read more from Code Name: Mama

Yes, James, There Is A Santa Claus:
“Santa was a staple in our house. Each of us chose a special cookie for his tray and carrots for the reindeer, and Santa in return left a note in the fireplace, carrots tops in the snow, and presents wrapped in his own special paper. My Dad didn’t just take us to sit on Santa’s lap, he made him come alive.”
~Read more from The Connected Mom
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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Traditions? What traditions? — Olivia at Write About Birth needs your advice: how can she make the most of the holiday season in a new country with only her immediate family? (@writeaboutbirth)
• TRADITION!!!!!! — Ella at My Intentional Journey reminds us all to be thankful for family traditions; there are those who have none.
• tradition! — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine came to realize that families can make incredible memories, even if they’re not wealthy (or organized).
• Taking a child’s perspective on traditions — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to keep in mind how important even the mundane traditions will be to her little ones. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Sunday Dinners and Lullabies — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment finds traditions in the small things throughout the year.
• Simple Family Advent Traditions — Michelle at The Parent Vortex crafted a set of advent bags with daily surprises to eat and to do. (@TheParentVortex)
• Parenting: Family Meetings – A Timeless Tradition — Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness discusses a year-round tradition in her household: Family Meetings. (@InnateWholeness)
• Our Mindful Holidays — They may not be “traditional” traditions, but they fit the family of Kellie at Our Mindful Life.
• Our Holiday Traditions, New and Old — Even with three young children, Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings is finding ways to be intentional and meaningful about holiday traditions. (@sunfrog)
• Our Cupcake Custom — Amy at Anktangle knows celebrations need minimal excuse and lots of cupcakes! (@anktangle)
• On the bunny slope of tradition-making — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is finding her groove as a holistic-minded mama with a joyful holiday spirit. (@crunchychewy)
• No, Virginia, There Is Not a Santa Claus — Just because her family is not going to do Santa, does not mean that Sheila at A Gift Universe can’t instill some mystery and magic into Christmas. (@agiftuniverse)
• New Traditions — Becky at Future Legacy shares a few traditions she is starting for her family, including popovers, a birthday banner, and service.
• My Holiday Family Traditions — The Artsymama continues a long tradition of adopting family members and sharing two favorite games that work well for a crowd.
• Mindfully Creating Family Traditions — Alison at BluebirdMama has ideas for celebrating birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas — though her family’s still figuring some of it out. (@bluebirdmama)
• Memorable Traditions — Lori Ann at MamaWit follows four mindful steps when instituting any tradition.
• Let’s Talk Traditions — Lily, aka Witch Mom shares her family’s traditions that are centered on the wheel of the year. (@lilyshahar)
• Homeschool Christmas — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now did not always celebrate the Christmas season in the same way with her family, but they always celebrated together. (@DebChitwood)

• Holidays, food and family — For Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood, the holidays are about family and food. (@crunchymamato2)
• Giving Christmas to the Critter — Rachael at The Variegated Life has found a way to tie her Zen practices to the Christmas story of the baby in the manger. (@RachaelNevins)
• Family Traditions + To Santa Or Not To Santa — Stop by Natural Parents Network to discover some of the traditions from other natural parents. NPN is also featuring snippets of posts from NP bloggers on the topic of whether to encourage children to believe in Santa Claus. (@NatParNet)
• Family Tradition Origins — Momma Jorje discusses her family’s traditions, and her desire not to make anyone feel obligated to conform to them.
• Everyday Traditions — For Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children it’s the small, daily traditions that make life special.
• Establishing Traditions and Older Child Adoption — MrsH at Fleeting Moments is trying to find ways to start traditions with a family that was made very quickly through birth and adoption.
• Emerging Family Traditions — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares some of her favorite birthday and Christmas traditions. (@bfmom)
• Does Rebellion Count? — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante has instituted a day of rest and PJs at her house on Christmas. (@seonaid_lee)
• December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Family Traditions — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker tries to give her girls a mix of traditions to foster togetherness — but worries that not being near extended family is a disconnect.
• Craft-tea Christmas Celebrations — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud created a delicious Christmas tradition that she named “Craft-tea.”
• A Christmas Tradition — Luschka at Diary of a First Child knows that even though she won’t be able to have her usual holiday traditions this year, the important thing is that she has her family. (@lvano)
• Celebrations without the Holiday — Asha at Meta Mom shares several ways to celebrate the winter holidays without focusing on religious traditions. (@metamomma)
• Celebrating the Journey We Have Traveled Together — Acacia at Be Present enjoys the chance to draw closer to her family during the Christmas holiday.
• Celebrating Motherhood — Do you celebrate the day you became a mother? Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers some ideas for traditions to mark your passage into motherhood. (@CodeNameMama)
• Celebrate! Winter Traditions Brought Home. — At True Confessions of a Real Mommy, TrueRealMommy and her family are celebrating many different religions and traditions this month. Stop by to see their schedule of events. (@TrueRealMommy)
• “Always Ready”, Holiday Style — Amy at Toddler In Tow discovered that it’s not the traditions themselves, but the emotional experience behind them that makes them special.