E-Mail 'Digging for Roots – The Innate Nature of Children' To A Friend
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Wow… excellent points. I really like your three factors parents use to answer the question of “Is he a good baby?” It’s easier when the parent believes in the inherent worth and value of the child, because then the answer is always, “Of course he is!” with a smile.
Thanks for a great post 🙂
I never really understood the “Is he/she a good baby?” question. I used to respond “I’m not sure what that means exactly. She’s a baby; of course she’s good! How could a baby be bad?” Inevitably, the asker would go on to explain that “bad” babies cry too much, don’t sleep enough, etc. I would just shake my head in sad bewilderment that anyone could judge a babies character as “good” or “bad” based on behaviors that are simply normal baby stuff.
I also like the “good baby” part. It is a question I am asked daily. I always answer, “of course!”
Your descroption of the breast crawl was beautiful and very validating as a natural parent!
Oh, the reading of the “breast crawl” makes me want to have another baby just to relive these first moments. I think it’s hard for Mamas that had the experence of a hospital birth… Although the nurses I had were incredible sensitive to my and and the baby’s needs, the initial minutes post-birth were lost on us both. I think it really took a second hospital birth – this time without any medical interventions needed, for me to realize the true power of my ability to labor, give birth and nurture life. Next time, if there is a next time, I am opting for a home or center as opposed to a hospital!
Thank you, Ladies 🙂
I hear the “good baby” comment a lot and I chuckle inside because when I wrote this I think I took it more personally for my baby… I would think, well of course!
After hearing it more I realize that it is a misleading question that many people don’t really think about when they ask – meaning they don’t necessarily realize they are speaking to innate nature. They’re just speaking along with the culture’s ideas about babies. A bit sad that we just go along with stuff until we recognize that it has more than one meaning. That’s part of life, though…
Brynn, informed and empowered birth with a supportive partner or doula can be beautiful and intimate in any setting. I am glad you experienced a positive contrast in your second birth. I had two hospital births and two home births. Each one was beautiful and unique. 🙂
It’s funny — I had an experience similar to the “good baby” one. I remember asking my cousin how her baby was sleeping (this was way before I had kids) and I could sense her discomfort but never really knew why.
After I became a mother, that question, “Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?” was revealed as the freighted comment it is, filled with our culture’s ideas about independence and infancy. I also realized I didn’t believe in those ideas. I later apologized to my cousin. 🙂