Five Benefits to Cosleeping Past Infancy

Two of the three members of our family bed, sound asleep.

Cosleeping, also known as “sharing sleep” or having a “family bed,” is a parenting practice that still smacks of taboo in our Western culture. But recent scientific studies are building a much stronger argument for the benefits of sharing sleep with our children.1 Yet even with the scientific support and the changing cultural perception of cosleeping, the subject is typically constrained to parents of infants.

It is still socially taboo to admit that you share sleep with toddlers or older children, but research shows that the taboo is unfounded. Children who cosleep are generally more independent and secure, develop close and lasting bonds to their families, and report more happiness and general life satisfaction than children who sleep alone. There are many reasons that sharing sleep with your children is healthy and beneficial even after they’ve started walking, but below are five of the best reasons.

Five Reasons to Continue Cosleeping Past Infancy

  1. Cosleeping Can Further Both Trust and Independence

    One common argument against cosleeping is that it will create children who are more dependent on parents than children who sleep alone, or that cosleeping children will never learn to sleep alone. “But this is like saying that by putting a baby in diapers, she’ll be in diapers throughout her life, or that by using a stroller or carrying her, she’ll never learn to walk.”2

    As a matter of fact, the opposite is actually true: children who shared sleep with their parents are actually more independent than their solo sleeping peers. Recent research has shown:

    *Solitary sleepers have actually been found to be more dependent on their parents than co-sleepers.

    *Co-sleeping boys ages three and older were shown to have no greater difficulty separating from one or both parents than solitary sleeping boys. (In this study, girls were not observed for this trait.)

    *The majority of family bed graduates consider themselves more independent than their peers.3

    And why shouldn’t cosleepers be more independent?! They learned from infancy that they could trust their caregivers to quickly respond to their needs, no matter what time of day or night it was. “You are not encouraging dependency when you sleep with your baby. You are responding to a need and teaching your child about trust.”4 “Children, given time to learn to trust those around them, and thus learn that their own feelings and needs are legitimate, will develop a true, enduring sense of independence.”5

  2. Melissa of Simple Whimsy and her family snoozing peacefully.

  3. Parents Are the Ultimate Security Blankets

    The image of a child sucking his thumb or carrying around a treasured blanket or teddy is a very familiar one in our culture. Search the internet and you’ll find all kinds of advice columns and articles on how to transition children away from these practices. But research has revealed something very interesting: children who cosleep do not need replacement security figures. Children feel more secure as a result of being close to their caregivers.

    “When a child routinely goes to sleep in the presence of an adult, or with an adult holding her, it’s extremely rare to find thumb sucking or attachment to security objects.” In a study of children ages one to seven years old who all sucked their thumbs, 96% of them “had been left alone to fall asleep as infants. In stark contrast, there were no thumb suckers among a large group of children who had physical contact with an adult while falling asleep.” In a different study of children between three and five years old, researchers found “that solitary sleepers were far more likely to use a security object than co-sleepers. The researchers concluded that children use security objects as substitutes for nighttime human touch.”6

    Our culture emphasizes the desirability of teaching children to self-soothe, and parents are encouraged to introduce security objects to help in this process. But in the dark of the night, why not allow a child to experience the love and comfort of a parent? If we teach our children to rely on things for comfort, what effect will this have on them later in life during times of stress? Shouldn’t we be encouraging them to reach out to people?

  4. Cosleeping Can Have Positive Effects on Self-Esteem and Family Closeness

    As Dr. Sears says, welcoming children into the family bed sends incredible “I care” messages. It says “you are special to us, day and night.”7 A little one welcomed into the family bed receives “countless hours more tender snuggles, and more affection than if she were left alone to sleep. If she wakes up at night, all she has to do is see you or reach out and touch you to feel the world is safe and right.”8

    And parents who fall asleep and/or wake up next to their children know how sweet it can be in those sleepy twilight hours. With everyone relaxed and cuddled up, children feel peaceful and ready to share their thoughts and stories, things that you might never hear during the hustle and bustle of daily life. “[Y]ou can get to know a family bed child on a level you might not otherwise. In the words of Thomas Anders, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Davis, School of Medicine, and director of the school’s infant and family sleep laboratory: ‘Co-sleeping encourages family closeness.’” These sentiments have been reinforced by research: the “vast majority” of both family bed graduates and their parents report that they are incredibly close to their families.9


  6. Children Who Cosleep May Be Easier to Get Along With and Better Adjusted Than Their Solo Sleeping Peers

    Psychologists in years past theorized that children in family beds were maladjusted, insecure, needy, and that their parents were languishing in bad marriages. Recent research blows the old theories out of the water. Here is a sample of what we’ve learned:

    *Children who never slept in their parents’ beds were harder to control, less happy, had more tantrums, handled stress less well, and were more fearful than routinely co-sleeping children.

    *Co-sleepers showed a feeling of general satisfaction with life.

    *Children who didn’t co-sleep end up getting more professional help with emotional and behavioral problems than co-sleepers.

    *Boys who slept in the family bed had increased self-esteem and less guilt and anxiety. Girls had more comfort with physical contact and affection.

    *Children who had co-slept felt they weren’t as prone to peer pressure as others their age.10

    Psychologists have long agreed “that children who have responsive, sensitive, accessible parents are much more likely to be happier later in life. It should come as no surprise, then, that children whose parents are there for them day and night turn out so well.”11

  7. Everyone Sleeps Better

    As long as cosleeping works for you12 and your child, why change it? If you can get past learning to nurse while sleeping and wild toddler sleeping arrangements,13 continuing to share sleep with your little one may help your whole family sleep better into your child’s preschool years and beyond.

    And when I say that everyone sleeps better, I really mean it. Scientific studies have shown that a family who sleeps together actually enters the different stages of sleep together almost simultaneously. Dr. Jay Gordon shared a beautiful illustration about the science behind this concept in his book, Good Nights: The Happy Parent’s Guide to the Family Bed (and a Peaceful Night’s Sleep!)14:

    Science is finally beginning to discover what babies have known all along: Babies are designed to sleep with their parents. And parents are designed to sleep with their babies.
    At the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame, anthropologist James McKenna, Ph.D., watches an intimate dance unfold. It’s a dance in which there’s no leader, no follower, and yet almost seamless choreography.
    A mother and father sleep with their baby between them in a large bed in the laboratory’s comfortable bedroom. It’s similar to the way they sleep at home, only with infrared video cameras monitoring their sleep stages, zooming in on every roll of an eyeball, every twitch of muscle, all night long.
    All is quiet and still, except for the rapidly moving, closed eyes of the baby, mother, and father. They’re all dreaming at the same time. Moments later they enter a stage of light sleep together: The mother stirs, awakens for just a moment, and drifts back to sleep, moving her head a little to the left, her arm to the right. The baby stirs, moves her head to the left, her arm to the right. Then the father follows with the same pattern. McKenna, director of the lab, smiles broadly and nods his head.
    “It’s incredible watching these sequences unfold,” says McKenna, acclaimed as the father of this type of sleep research and the world’s foremost authority on the biological basis of cosleeping. “The synchronization that happens when parents sleep beside their baby is remarkable.”
    Similar experiments in England find the same dance with family bedders. But place the baby in another room, and it’s like putting a wall between a pair of ballroom dancers. Everyone reverts to their own rhythms, their sleep cycles coinciding only by chance.15

Melissa of Simple Whimsy

Need More Reasons to Cosleep?

If you’re on the fence about continuing to share sleep with your little one past infancy, I’d highly suggest reading Dr. Gordon’s Good Nights. It is packed with both research and with testimonials from children who have “graduated” from the family bed. He also offers tips on dealing with criticism from friends and family who do not agree with the practice.

For more resources on cosleeping and nighttime parenting, check out Natural Parents Network’s “Ensure Safe Sleep” resource page. It has links to articles as well as additional book recommendations.

Did you share sleep with your child?

How long did your child stay in the family bed?

  1. For a review of some of these studies, check out Cosleeping at The Natural Child Project, Co-Sleeping Safety at PhD in Parenting (with more links at the end of the article), and Safe Sleeping with Your Baby at Dr. Sears. For more information on the research results discussed in this post, please see the studies cited in the original sources.
  2. Gordon, Good Nights: The Happy Parent’s Guide to the Family Bed (and a Peaceful Night’s Sleep!) at 24
  3. Good Nights at 25-26
  4. Sears, Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep at 35
  5. Good Nights at 24. A note to parents who do not share sleep with their little ones: please do not interpret this post to mean that if you do not cosleep, you are not teaching trust or responding to needs. I recognize the fact that cosleeping simply does not work for many babies.
  6. Good Nights at 19-20 (emphasis added).
  7. Nighttime Parenting at 52
  8. Good Nights at 20-21
  9. Good Nights at 21-22
  10. Good Nights at 23
  11. Good Nights at 23
  12. When I say “you,” I mean you in both the singular and the plural, depending on your parenting situation.
  13. What parent hasn’t woken up to a foot in the back/face/stomach from a sleeping toddler?!
  14. Good Nights at 3-4 (citations omitted, emphasis added).
  15. Good Nights at 3-4

About The Author: Dionna

Code Name: Mama CodeNameMama My NPN Posts

Dionna is co-founder of Natural Parents Network. She blogs about natural parenting and life with a toddler-almost-preschooler at Code Name: Mama. She also co-founded, a site dedicated to normalizing breastfeeding anytime, anywhere.

368 Responses to Five Benefits to Cosleeping Past Infancy

  1. Alexis

    I love this article! The comments about marriage failing because of the child in the bed make me sad, though. A husband and wife in a great marriage do what’s best for their entire family. I loved how when my babies were tiny, my husband would peek over me to stare at them at night, to check on them, to share that bonding experience WITH me. We always kept the baby on my side of the bed, not between us, but I was sleeping between my two favorite people in the world – I could roll one way to nurse and cuddle my baby, and once he/she was asleep again, I could roll the other way into my husband’s arms. Our fold-out sofa made up for the rest of our…ahem…’our time’. Now my babies are 2 and 4, and they always fall asleep in their own beds, but most mornings I wake up with at least one of them snuggled up with us, and I love that – that they know they can always come to us if they wake at night. Our marriage is spectacular because we choose to do what is best for ALL of us. I can promise you that if you make your partner a priority, and get a little creative, your love life does not have to suffer one tiny bit.

    • Dionna  

      “A husband and wife in a great marriage do what’s best for their entire family.”
      How true, Alexis! And honestly, when parents are secure in their marriage (or at least are actively working on it), cuddling with their kids does not spell divorce court. Thanks so much for your comment.

    • Mariah

      Thank you for this article. I’m being bashed. No BASHED for cuddling with my nine year old daughter as we sleep together each night. We have been co-sleeping her entire life (excepting the bassinet at my bedside when she was an infant and I nursed her). As soon as she graduated the confines of the crib we’ve been together. She’s amazing. Kind to others. She’s compassionate beyond her years. A super-star student. Further, she’s rarely sick ever. The cruelty of hearing I’m “ruining her” is horrible. Our pillow talk time is sacred to me. She talks to me about everything during this time. Her concerns with things going on at school. Why a teacher had to buy shoes for one of her classmates? Anything and everything comes up. I would not trade these precious moments for anything. My husband has severe sleep apnea which he will not treat. its not like I can sleep with him anyway…..even though I wish I could. It’s sad how awful I’m being treated. Thank you for inspiring me to at least know in my heart… beautiful child will continue to be alright. Thank you unbounded lay for that I’ve cried a lot. Tonight I read this frantically looking for Hope. I feel defeated I would never hurt my daughter. Never. We both love this time. Giggles, chatting, cuddling, and praying together. We sleep peacefully. It’s beautiful. Even mentioning ending it rips her with fear and hysterics. I can’t do it to her. I cry alone.

  2. Melissa Merriman

    My two little girls (ages 2 & 4) sleep with us every night and I absolutely love it, as does my husband! People often comment on how kind and loving both my girls are, and after reading this article I truly believe our co-sleeping is why. While we never actually intended to co-sleep (my husband is a police officer who works nights so it was easier on me), it has turned out to be such an amazing experience. Even on the rare night when my girls choose to sleep in their own room they opt to sleep together in bed and snuggle one another. When I am up earlier than my kids or I wake in the middle of the night I often find them snuggled up to one another. Could there be anything sweeter?
    Most nights, we head up to bed an hour early just to have time to tickle, snuggle and talk, and it truly is the very best part of our day.
    Honestly, I’ve always wondered if we were making the right decision leaving them in our bed so long but after reading this article I feel much better knowing that without a doubt I am making the right decision for my kids and my family. I am so very grateful to have found this post, many, many thanks!!! Melissa in California

    • Dionna  

      Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comment, Melissa! You should really look into the book I got most of the info from for this post (Good Nights – it’s in the footnotes) – it really set my mind at ease too!

  3. Kristin  

    Ah, great article! I love Dr. Gordon’s book and advice and refered to it often in my early parenting days.

    Emma slept in our bed until 18 months or so, at which point one of us started sleeping with her in hers. Very gradually, we transitioned out, though she still came to us and slept part of the night with us until 24 months, and she needed us to stay with her at bedtime for awhile longer.

    Elsie and Delia slept in our bed for the first 4 months, but they were basically sleeping ON TOP of me all night and eventually that no longer worked. All three of us were constantly waking each other up, every time we moved. I started transitioning them to hammocks then, and later cribs, one in our room and one in theirs. Though this was all pretty loose and they would end up in bed with me a lot until about a year.

    At some point, sadly, they really stopped sleeping at all in our bed — unless really sick they would just not settle. It is really SO much harder to go to their room many times a night, yipes! But with two of them, it just worked better. I still love the middle of the night cuddles with them in their room, and they still need them sometimes, even though we’ve nightweaned again.

    They all end up in our bed in the mornings, though, and I have been thinking of sneaking in to Emma’s bed in the early AMS and sleeping with my “big” girl occasionally, just to get more of a connection with her!

    • Dionna  

      Kristin I can’t imagine having TWO babies on top of me. Kieran slept on top of me, the sore arms (and sometimes neck/back) were almost a cosleeping deal breaker for me. (But I don’t think Kieran would have let me put him in a crib.)
      It would be interesting to hear from cosleeping families how they transitioned – as in, how they continued to enjoy the physical cuddles/time after the kids were in their own beds full time.

  4. Kris

    My 6yo DD co-slept with us until I fell pregnant with her brother last year and there was no more physical room left for her with my big belly in the way. She sucks her thumb and to be honest I feel quite upset that this article suggests that she didn’t get enough contact from myself or her father. I also wore her and breast fed her. I now co-sleep with my son and some nights DD joins us but she now prefers her own bed.

    • Dionna  

      Kris I don’t mean to imply that all kids who have lovies or who suck their thumb did not get enough physical contact! Definitely not – the statistics from Good Nights simply said those kids are in the minority. Thank you for reading, and congratulations on your new little one!

    • Dani

      My baby bedshares, and she sucks her thumb at night, it’s all good 🙂

  5. Kylie

    My son is eight and sleeps with me approximately 50% of the time. I’ve never actually made any kind of arrangement about it, he’s had his own bed all his life, but has always been welcome to sleep with me if he prefers. He often gets into my bed in the wee hours of the morning, and I often fall asleep with him when I’m putting him to bed. We don’t analyse it or question it. I’m sure that when he’s really too old to sleep with me, he’ll simply stop doing it.

  6. Kasie

    We cosleep! Three years so far.

  7. Emily

    Thanks for posting this! Our 3 yr old has pretty much only ever slept with us. For 9 mo. she slept in her room, but we either rocked her to sleep, or laid down with her until she fell asleep. Then one day, she didn’t want to sleep away from us. We tried getting her to sleep in her room, but it was a nightmare! Constantly have 50/50 response to this. Although, I have also had alot of great conversations where family & friends told me how their kids slept with them, and it was so wonderful, and in the long run, such a short amount of time they would never trade away. If we could fit a king up our stairs, we’d have a king bed, but since we can’t, we just make do with the queen and the 3 of us. She sleeps 12 hrs solid with us, but maybe 8 or 9 when she is on her own…if she makes it through the night. She sleeps in on the weekends (which is great for all of us!). She’s never rolled or fell out of bed (thanks to walls of pillows!), and even when she does wake up and we’re not there, she doesn’t climb out and wander around; she waits for us to come and tell her she can get up. It is great that we all get wonderful sleep, and wonderful to wake up to her snuggled up with one or both of us. I will say, occassionally one of us has gone to sleep in the spare room, but that doesn’t bother either of us…in fact, we miss waking up and knowing our daughter is safe, right by us! Wonderful post!

  8. Lisa

    What a great article! None of my 4 boys have ever taken to a lovey, a pacifier, or sucked their thumbs and I always thought there was something “odd” about that…at least the lovey part. Now it makes sense that it’s because they didn’t NEED a security blanket!! I always snuggled with my boys until they would fall asleep. Even when our oldest was our only one and was 3 years old. With our 2nd child, we upgraded to a king sized bed. With our 3rd, we added a cosleeper. 🙂 Now our 4th uses it and every night at least the 3rd is in bed between us at some point. We’ve had many nights where there have been 4 or 5 of us in the bed at the same time as all of them know they are always welcome to come in.

  9. Dc

    How sad that people think it is ridiculous to allow your child into your bed. Marital problems exist but I have never seen it caused primarily by cosleeping. If a couple is not on the same page as regards cosleeping then of course it will cause friction but that does not mean cosleeping as a concept is the cause! Does my husband feel pushed to the bottom of the barrel because our kids come into our beds? NO. Have there been times when, because we were not prioritizing our relationship, we had struggles and he got irritated by cosleeping until we got our priorities outside of slumber correctly in place again? Yes, so did I. But the cause was not taking care of our marriage the other 16 hours of the day! Please dont narrow causes for marital problems down to one issue. It rarely can be blamed on one thing but is rather an amalgamation of many factors not the least of which is “I want things my way and I dont care about you, the kids or our marriage”.
    And sex doesnt have to be wild and crazy, it can happen even in the same room as your sleeping children and horror of horrors with them in the same bed if it is big enough (2 yards wide). If you want to cosleep or think it important enough that you are willing to enlarge your horizons and be creative then do it. If not then back off and leave us who love it, are surviving it and willing to do it alone.

  10. Katie Mulder

    We used to co-sleep very happily with our daughter until she was about 7 months old. She would wake up in the middle of the night and be so excited to see us (especially dad who was at work all day) and she would crawl around, hit our faces, clap, then repeat 🙂 This went on for months.. and then we tried putting her in the crib in her room and poof, she slept the whole night and still does (at 13 months) We have tried sneaking her back in our bed but with out fail, she does the same thing every time. WE MISS HER! Any advice…? Perhaps she just likes her own bed better..I am a stay at home mom.. maybe she’s just sick of me! haha.

  11. Donna Bruschi  

    I could give you full details but my teens have issued a gag order on revealing “Personal Details”!

    Suffice it to say that we co-slept until they no longer wanted to and we still occasionally have ‘slumber parties’ (sleeping separately, but in the same room). We are an intimate family. We spend a lot of time comfortably laughing with and yelling at each other.

    And…we all sleep easily, deeply and on our own. No thumbsucking. : )

  12. Olivia

    This is great information. our 22 month old is still sleeping with us and it’s pretty great. There is the occasional night when she is particularly restless and it disrupts my sleep, but most of the time we all get the rest we need. I think it especially wonderful to connect with her at night like that since I am at work and she at daycare all day. Sharing sleep gives us extra cuddles and a chance to reconnect after a long day apart.

  13. Sara @ Halfway Crunchy  

    “If we teach our children to rely on things for comfort, what effect will this have on them later in life during times of stress? Shouldn’t we be encouraging them to reach out to people?”

    I think you hit the nail on the head with this point!

    I feel like many parents are scared to let their children be attached to them because they weren’t attached as kids. It’s hard to break the cycle of how our parents did things and/or how everyone else around us is doing things.

    I know many adults that need all these gadgets, the hottest new clothes, the biggest house, etc. and they still feel void of something. Possibly (or, probably) they didn’t receive the proper attachment that they needed as infants/children to their caregivers and forever they will try to fill this void with material things instead of connection with people until they have their *ah ha!* moment.

    Hopefully this post will be that moment for parents out there struggling with their feelings toward cosleeping/bedsharing because let me tell you, it is one of the best experiences I’ve had in my life! I can’t imagine ending my day any other way then cuddling with my daughter and my husband as we drift away to sleepland.

  14. Armadillo  

    In contrast to Matt, my OH is very pro co-sleeping – I think ultimately as he gets more sleep! lol he would wake every time I got up to see to our first which was a lot (before I knew about a lot of reasons to co-sleep)
    We certainly don’t see it as putting one person before another, simply finding a way to meet all our needs. My second coslept from birth and I’ve never felt the exhaustion I did with DD.
    I guess it all comes down to what you want and expect too, I wouldn’t be at all happy if my 3 month old was sleeping 12 hours.
    Me not being exhausted makes for a happier me and a better relationship with spouse, not worse…

    • Courtney  

      I agree! My husband also never minded (and preferred) co-sleeping. In Korea (where my husband is from) it is not unusual for everyone to sleep in the same room together and did it often while growing up–so he never questioned having our son co-sleep with us when we had a colicy newborn that refused to be put down to sleep. My family was actually the one that thought it was weird. Now, at almost 4, he will sleep in his own bed when asked but occasionally likes to share ours as well. Whatever works!

  15. Christine

    I slept with my son, on and off, until he was about 21 months and he started to sleep through the night without needing me there.

    I still spend a lot of the night in my daughter’s bed (she’s 2 – and it’s a twin bed so there’s plenty of room for both of us), but hope to transition her to sleeping alone in the coming months.

    I love the comparison to weaning. Co-sleeping has been great for my kids, they both sleep better with company; but I need my time in my own bed – and with my husband too – and I think the point comes when you can help them learn to sleep alone without detriment to anyone. It’s different for every family.

  16. Jennifer

    I never would have gotten any sleep at all if I had not co-slept with my son from the beginning. He was always high-needs and now as a preschooler is still very spirited, including at night (though certainly he does sleep quite well now, particularly if we’re comparatively speaking to the infant days). When he wakes from a bad dream or needs to potty, it’s so much easier to be able to roll over and comfort him than to have to get up and go into another room, which would wake me up even further (I’m not a great sleeper myself, and once I’m up, it’s hard to settle back down); he’s always been a bit anxious when he wakes up, and he’s always settled down best by snuggling up with me or my husband.

    I always find it funny to think that it would somehow be easier to spend time with my husband without our son in our bedroom. There are other places to spend time together, once the kiddo’s in bed we have time together anyhow, and when you’re dealing with really young ones anyhow you have to get creative just to find time for yourselves (unless maybe you’ve got a naturally great sleeper or you’ve cried it out so the baby no longer asks for help even when he needs it).

    My son also sleeps infinitely better with us around, and he’s just not ready to make the big transition to sleeping alone yet (he tried doing this of his own volition and came back to our bed a couple nights later), but so far, he’s done so many things on his own timeline as long as we let him just be that I know he’ll move into his own bed when he’s good and ready.

    I know folks who hate co-sleeping, and I’m sure some kids are totally fine sleeping on their own. I remember feeling scared and alone in my room as a child, and I don’t particularly like sleeping alone now either for that matter, so I think we each have to find a path for our families that meets all our needs as much as possible.


    P.S. I will say that it’s tough to read that a spouse takes priority over a child, as one commenter posted. Having been raised in such a household, I was very hurt by being second fiddle to my parents’ needs, which did not accommodate my own as a helpless child. I’m not suggesting that the poster meant that, per se, but I had to note that this can make the child feel less worthy if done without being attuned to the child’s needs.

  17. Kelly  

    I really enjoyed this article – thank you!

    Before I had my little one, my full intention was to have baby in her own room from day 1 (ah, the things you think will happen with your kids when you don’t really know anything about parenting! 😉

    Anyway, when we brought her home, she was so tiny…and the bassinet seemed so big…and she has been in our bed ever since.

    Around 4 months I made a short attempt to transition her to a crib next to our bed – she seemed pretty restless at night (and I will say – I don’t sleep better, but I’ve never been a good sleeper anyway, and I do think a bigger bed would help). Anyway, we tried it for about 2 nights and hubby and I missed her too much, so we brought her back and I think all are happier.

    I think what I love most is that hubby is so on board with it…I thought in the beginning that he might find it annoying, but he really loves it as much as I do.

    (I don’t think it’s harmed the relationship either – we were back in the saddle day one of week 6 after she was born, and there’s plenty of other places besides the bed 🙂

  18. Ashley  

    Great post! 😀 Definitely going to share on Facebook, not in the least because when we were in the really rough transition between co-sleeping and independent sleeping, we heard, “Oh, you shouldn’t have even started letting him sleep with you!” so many times that I got tired of defending the choice.

    • Ashley  

      Also, it explains why Miles never really attached to a “lovey;” he had pacifers until he was about 9 months old, but now is only interested in his stuffed animals if he’s in bed being tucked in.

  19. Amy

    We co-slept with our first for 6 months, then he was ready to sleep alone, but still in our room, where he could hear us. We didn’t move him into his own room till after 18 months. Our second however, didn’t want to sleep with us. It was sad for my husband and I. We had both enjoyed the bonding time we had with our first and were ready to experience that with the second. But he just wouldn’t sleep with us. He’d just keep his eyes open, then as soon as we’d lay him down in his own bed he’d fall asleep. So when he woke up at night I’d nurse him in bed so we could have some cuddle time. Again, he wouldn’t fall back asleep until I had put him in his own bed. Every kid and every family is different, and we all deal with things differently. My mom would let us sleep on the floor by her bed because my dad is such a big guy she was terrified of him squishing one of us. I have very fond memories of sleeping next to mom, even if it was on the floor. It was always very comforting to wake up in my parents room and know I had slept next to them. The important thing to remember is that we are all trying to do what’s right for our families. Everyone is different. But we all love our kids and want what’s best.

    • Dionna  

      Oh don’t tell me that! If we ever get pregnant again, I am *really* looking forward to snuggling with a newborn! But you’re so right – everyone is different, and we’re all doing what’s right for our families.

  20. Kathy Dettwyler

    I just came back from a lovely 10-day visit to my mom. We coslept in a double-bed all ten nights. It was really, really nice, and my mother, who has poor circulation in her feet (which are therefore always cold) really appreciated my letting her put her cold feet up against my warm toasty legs. I am 55 years old, she is 90. You’re NEVER to old for co-sleeping.

    • Dionna  

      That is so sweet Kathy – what a wonderful relationship you have with your mom 🙂
      My grandma always had two twin beds pushed together in her room, and that is where I would sleep whenever I stayed over – no matter how old I got. Whispering with grandma in the darkness is one of my most treasured memories.