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2 Responses to Implementing Gentle Discipline Techniques in Big Families

  1. Amy Phoenix  

    I received some additional words of wisdom from a mother on my mailing list that my be helpful in addressing chaos before it starts…

    “I am wondering if this parent needs some suggestions as to ‘a systems set up’ that leads to the melt down of the 5 year old. Sometimes fixing a system makes recovering from chaos much easier as well since it can lead to much less chaos.
    –does he have difficulties with change? maybe he needs beginning of the day, 2 hour, 20, 15, 10 and 5 minute reminders of what’s coming up so that he can mentally prepare.
    –does he get tons of extra attention when he has a melt down? make sure he’s getting tons more positive attention other times so that melt-down times aren’t the only times he gets attention. making the melt down attention times not quite as fun (while still maintaining healthy care and positive outlook) may help. (? this has to be carefully done!)
    –being a middlish child may create some tension in not feeling in control of anything. Having a low stress chore that is really helpful and is only his chore to help him feel in control. (Keeping adult verbage positive is important! “Oh, thank you so much for doing this.” “You are being so kind and helpful when you do this for our family.” “Look at what you did! See how helpful this is!”) Or making sure he has some space in the home (wall space for pictures, square footage space, a drawer or two) that is his to decide what to do with–not for family toy storage or his clothing unless he wants it there.
    –does the five year old have a food allergy or blood sugar problems?
    –has something happened with this child that needs talked through or debriefed or an apology made to the child by a parent for overlooking needs at one time?”

  2. Julinda

    What if the dad’s parenting style is contributing to the problems? How does Mom deal with issues that Dad may have caused, without criticizing/hurting Dad?