E-Mail 'That's it, I'm Going Naked! (I'm Living Make-Up Free, and I'm Here to Tell the Tale)' To A Friend
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Great post – I agree with your sentiment. The great thing about raising kids is that we are able to see them develop into their own person and develop their own views on things. Your decision not to show her how hurt you were by her statement, but instead show her that you respect her opinion yet disagree was the right move. Your little one will grow up respecting the fact that she has a mama who is strong, confident and beautiful!
Thanks Andrea! It’s amazing how young people are when they begin developing their own ideas and opinions. Letting my kids know that their opinions are valid is sometimes challenging, but I believe it will help them grow in confidence.
Wow! That is a tough situation to navigate. I’m pretty sure I would have said the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. My relationship with makeup has changed over the years. In high school I always felt naked and embarrassed without at least a little makeup. It was an awful way to feel. Now I go most days without it, but if I’m going out with my husband or to a roller derby event or some other outing, I usually put it on. I was raised in the south where the older women have been known to say “honey, you look so GOOD with makeup and high heels on, why don’t you wear them all the time?” I hate that. I’d like people to regularly see me the way I really am, and then occasionally see me in makeup when I’m feeling fancy. And I want my daughters to know that they don’t have to wear makeup (or anything painful or troublesome) just to be presentable. It’s just for self-expression and fun!
Jenny, I too used to never go out without make up and felt embarrassed if I did. I agree, it’s an awful way to feel! You are spot on about make up being best used for self expression. I wish more people viewed it as such instead of mandatory for a woman to look “her best.”
I know exactly what you mean! Here’s why I don’t wear makeup. A big part of it is realizing what a bunch of lies I had internalized growing up in a town where a female over age 12 who was seen in public without makeup was gossiped about and considered A FAILURE AS A WOMAN–and that where I am now, hardly anyone feels that way, so there is no need for me to act like my bare face is unacceptable. You’re right, it’s a terrible feeling.
Thanks so much for that link, Jenny! It’s a really great read and says a lot about the expectations of women to wear – or not wear make up. I never considered that it would be a regional thing, but now that you mention it! Gender expectations certainly are different from one place to the next. Great article!
The example you set for your kids is such a strong motivator!
On the same topic, this is still hanging around as one of my most visited posts…
http://minimalistmum.blogspot.co.nz/2013/02/beauty-skin-deep-10-reasons-for-no.html
Thank you Jessica! Your post is fantastic, and thanks for reminding me of all of the other good I’m doing footer the planet and animals, besides myself and my daughter.
Wonderful post! I stopped wearing makeup a few years ago and no longer even own any! My teenager has lots of it and wears it for fun. Sometimes its to look girly, but more often its to dress up like a character.
I don’t feel the need to wear makeup for even special occasions since giving it up. I don’t miss it. It never occurs to me that I’m lacking makeup. Hm. I never really thought about that.
“confident and comfortable in my own skin ” – yes, yes, yes!
Continue on, Destany. 🙂
oh, i cried! this is so beautiful. my partner hates my hair, my kids picked up on that and tell me i look weird. it’s so hard to be strong and feel beautiful under scrutiny. i love your verbal response to her, especially considering the range and intensity of emotions you were feeling. thank you so much for this post. we are all beautiful. it is SO hard to keep the mother-filter in place as the kids get older. they are exposed to more when they are not around me, not only to opinions of people they love, but also to more ads and social pressures. this is so well-written. i appreciate your honesty and your decision.
Thank you very much Mari, I’m glad to know that others find this helpful. You are so right that it can be difficult to know how to respond appropriately in those moments!
good for you. I’ve only ever worn make-up once, as a bridesmaid, and I wanted to claw it off within a half hour. Now 34, I know a lot of people think I ‘should’ wear make-up, but I really have very little interest in it and, like you said, the toxins alone are nasty. Thing is, the reason I’ve never worn it is because my mom said I had to wait till I was 18. By the time I was 18, I was living on my own for two years, and never had the money to even try it out. It was my normal, and it always has been. Eventually I started realizing more and more that I didn’t like the way people wearing make-up looked, to the point where now I think it’s just gross, all caked on there and looking almost as strange as people with botox. You’re so much more YOU without it, I wish more people stopped hiding their beautiful faces behind masks of make-up; I wish they weren’t afraid to let people see them for who they really are
Thank you Jennifer! I agree we should celebrate our own personal beauty more. I know that many women use make up as an art form, a means of expressing themselves, but I had always used to make myself more acceptable looking. The last time I wore it felt very strange. I’m much more comfortable with out it nowadays!