As a mother, love has filled me in ways unimaginable. Sometimes, though, I have found the greatest depths of my love in the fleeting parts of this life between mother and child. One of these poems is written at a time of great loss. The others were written in awe, with a simple wish that time could really be put on pause.

If I Could Hold On

Some day

I will look down

at my breast

and not see your sweet face.

Moments pass by

unnoticed,

no other world is around me

when you     are here.

But your weight

on my lap

grows heavy still,

until it becomes

the weight     of memory.

Tiny fingers that reach

out to grab me

catch my heart    instead

and leave their imprint

upon it.

Only this will not fade so fast.

 

January 2008

 

 

 A Brief Spring Storm

Mornings

I have noticed

the changing wind.

It brings in a fresh scent,

like wet earth and fertility.

 

The promise of spring

breaks open the hard crust

of earth, left behind

by a hard winter.

The sun shifts

In the morning sky,

my heart shifts in my chest.

But as I look

toward the light,

I see you turn and walk away.

 

‘Not just yet,” you whisper,

As a light rain begins

between my thighs.

 

“Not just yet,” I hear,

As the thunder turns

my womb in knots.

The sun slips

Behind the clouds and

I am afraid to let you go.

 

Still, the wind picks up.

My insides twist and

contract like

the lightening split sky.

 

Release comes fast,

A brief spring storm.

Release………….

Rain pouring down

and away.

 

And then

suddenly,

you are gone.

 

March 2009

 

 

My Child Sleeps

Time pauses.

Everything Good in the world,

all the promise, all the

newness,

all the love and the light

wrapped up in a small blanket

lying next to me.

I soak him in,

Let him seep into my skin

flowing down

into my heart,

A permanent home,

it cannot be

replaced

either by waking or

growing up.

 

August 2009

_________________________

Acacia is a stay at home mama playing through life one moment at a time with her husband and two young sons. She is a natural parenting, cloth diapering, gentle disciplining, home schooling, wholesome foods eating, spiritually centered steward to this great Mother Earth.