Yes, it’s a resolution post.
I’m not resolving to do anything I haven’t already been doing – or trying to do.
So it’s more like a re-affirmation of my Sankalpa. Isn’t that fun to say? It means “resolve” or “intention” – to set intentions.
According to the Winter 2011 issue of Yoga International, “A sankalpa practice starts from the radical premise that you already are who you need to be to fulfill your life’s dharma. All you need to do is focus your mind, connect to your most heartfelt desires, and channel the divine energy within.”
It’s genius in its simplicity. The great unburdening happens when you inhale, allowing yourself to know that you are enough, and then exhale away all of the expectations you have laid on your own shoulders.
So with sankalpa you have two paths: heartfelt desire, which is more encompassing than a resolution, but also easier in that you are already enough – you are just reaffirming it; and an actual goal.
Mine is both: a Heartfelt Goal, if you will. It is so simple yet so, so complex.
Are you ready?
That’s it. Two little words. They encompass so much. It includes an awareness of how I spend our time and money, how I treat our bodies, and how I nourish my growing boys’ spirits – all while balancing and maintaining my marriage…which then breaks down being present for myself through taking time to do more yoga, climb more, spend less time frivolously, write more, watch less television, picnic more, play more, have some structure, and recognize that the need for attention is a big need in such small boys and putting them off harms all of us.
Oh, and get organized.
But really, it’s just to make sure that every moment is one that I am present for. So many people say, “Where did the time go?” So far I haven’t had that feeling. My baby turns 3 this month, and I’m not wondering where the time went. I did not give birth, blink, and it’s three years later.
These have been full years, with days spent in the park, errands run, people spoken to, librarians flirted with. Visitors, plane rides, train rides, weddings, new friends, a new little brother, a new preschool, and new adventures. The laundry piled up and was seen to. Dishes piled up and were seen to. Swaddling blankets made way for rattles, which were joined by blocks, cars, and trains, all stacked up with books and surrounded by music, hugs, and food.
There was also illness, tantrums (mine and his), the agony of six teeth cutting through in less than two months, and many scrapes and bruises. There was the sheer refusal to stand or walk alone followed by the joy of learning to run and jump.
Will I succeed? One can only hope. But even if I don’t, I will take a deep breath and remind myself that the effort is almost as important as success and that for every slip there is redemption. If I let it all go – I am already enough.
This article has been edited from a previous version published at Embrita Blogging.