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9 Responses to Nurturing Touch for Older Children

  1. Lisa@Granola Catholic  

    So true, kids and all of us need touch even as we age. My babies are 14, 11 and 7 and they still need a soft hand to guide them.

  2. Darcel {The Mahogany Way}  

    Touch is part of our makeup. I love hearing that pre-teens and teens still enjoy a great relationship with their parents. Everything seems to be coming full circle through the generations once again.

  3. Laura S.  

    Thank you for this! I have 3 older children who are 5, 7, and 8 and sometimes I forget that I need to still “snuggle” with them. It really is important to maintain that bond and it seems to calm them down. Sometimes when my 7 year old gets upset about something and is freaking out, I just hold her on my lap until she calms down.
    I am not ashamed to admit that I sat on my mom’s lap and snuggled with her until I was 11. 🙂

  4. Samantha  

    I love it when my 4 year old randomly comes up to me tell me he loves me and gives me a kiss. It is so heartwarming, I can only imagine how he feels when I do the same!

    I also love to see how affectionate he is with his little sister (8 months), it makes me feel like I did something right!

  5. Susie

    Thank you for the reminder! I have a 6 year old, 3 year old, and 5 month old. And the baby definitely gets the majority of snuggles. I needed the reminder about my older children and thanks for the list of simple things I can do.

  6. Lauren  

    I’m so glad you wrote this! Older kids absolutely need love, too. My four-year-old randomly comes up to me during the day to give me a hug or say he loves me; obviously, he knows when he needs touch and connection! I’ve been looking for ways to keep that going, and I will definitely use your ideas.

    One that I liked with my dad when I was a kid was to close my eyes as we walked, hold his hand, and let him guide me. That might be a fun challenge for some kids!

  7. Seonaid  

    My babies are now 12, 8, and 5. The older ones don’t come looking for snuggles very often, but sometimes I just say, “Do you need a Mommy snuggle?” (If I get just the right tone of self-mockery so that they can pretend that it is really just for me, they will concede.) When my great big 12-year-old son sits down with me, it is a lot like snuggling a Great Dane. He tends to go limp and drape himself over me, now from head to foot. And they are great snuggles. As long as I don’t mind the pokey elbows. And knees. And the hair up the nose.

    The other day I hugged him, and I kissed him on top of his head. And I said, “I’m not going to be able to do this much longer. When you’re taller than me, will you kiss the top of my head?” And he smiled up at me and assured me he was looking forward to it.

  8. Jo

    I’m just working on an article about Theraplay activities. These can include ways to make physical contact and connect with older children.
    Elephant kisses are good, (kiss your fist, make an elephant trunk shape gesture, then plant fist on child) if they won’t accept real kisses. Silly games like making pizza or weather reports on their backs, or pretending to make a sandwich on a lying down child then squashing down with cushions. Plus there’s always good old rough-housing. Great to see someone else giving some attention to this area.

  9. Gin

    I have run behind my sons, to this day, threatening to kiss them, making those kiss kiss noises, lol. I think they know quite well, they are loved. 🙂