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15 Responses to Potty Learning – Learning to Let Go

  1. Jenn @ Monkey Butt Junction  

    This post is so timely for me. We are just beginning to have “potty discussions” at home. I’m frankly really intimidated by the whole process, but posts like this remind me that it isn’t something that needs to be done on a strict deadline, and that sometimes one step forward, two steps back is the route we all take to get to our goals.

  2. Holly

    My oldest was four. And even though I didn’t have pressure from outside to ‘get it done’, I felt like people were thinking it! And had to fight the urges to force the issue. I think it was knowing my son’s personality very well, and knowing that it just wouldn’t work if I tried to force it that kept me from stressing too much. Having said that, I will not complain if my other children do not follow in his footsteps!

  3. Kim  

    We are under pressure from everyone about our little guy and using the potty. Luckily I don’t collapse under pressure, I simply say he will learn in his own time when he is ready. Most people don’t get it, but that is okay. We will stick with it and one day he will say let’s use the potty and my response will simply be “okay” 🙂

  4. Kat @ Loving {Almost} Every Moment

    Thank you for this! It couldn’t have come at a better time. Just today I again found myself getting a tad frustrated with my son’s lack of interest and quite frankly, total aversion, to the potty. He’s 2 1/2 so I *know* that it will come at the time when he’s ready, but it’s so nice to hear it from someone else. I do look forward to the day he’s ready though!

  5. Amy W.  

    It’s hard to wait. Society is a little obsessed with toilet learning, and there’s so much pressure to “get it done!” But when the time comes when your little one is truly ready, both of you will be so happy! Abbey is truly very proud and thrilled to be able to “listen to her body and use the potty” – all in due time!

  6. Jenni  

    By three it’s a bit too late, but for future reference, controlling urine and stool is actually something newborns do, and if we listen to it, they can use the potty from the beginning. There are tons of books out already about it, search under elimination communication. The good ones stress respecting the baby and not forcing it, just watching for signs as you would with breastfeeding.

  7. Valerie (Momma in Progress)  

    Thank you for writing this. My second child is almost four, and has never once shown more than remote interest in using the potty. I’m trying to be all zen about it, we haven’t even mentioned it for months, but still zero motivation. Logically I know it will happen eventually, but it’s hard not to have a swell of panic every once in a while.

    • Amy W.  

      Valerie, know that I am with you in your feelings of sporadic panic 🙂 Potty learning is an up and down and around the bush type of learning experience. Our children have to learn about their bodies and how to control them, and they’re learning so much other stuff in the same time period! Like Jenni said, even if we don’t practice EC, we can watch for signals that our children are going to go, and help them to the potty without forcing them to go. It will happen. Have faith!

  8. Michelle  

    When my eldest daughter was about to start nursery school.(kindergarten?) I had to carry her potty everywhere because she refused point blank to sit on a toilet. I was really worried about what would happen at school. I even approached the headteacher and asked if it would be worth sending her in nappies (diapers?) The head told me to relax. If she had an accident or two, they’d clean her up and eventually (and she promised it wouldn’t be long) my daughter would start wanting to use the toilet just like the other children. I had doubts. Huge doubts. But the old, wise headteacher was absolutely right. Well, almost right. There was not one accident and my daughter used the toilets without fuss, all of her own accord. It made me realise that sometimes we really do need to take a step back, relax, and let things happen in their own time. By the way. Either your bathrooms are enormous compared to ours in England – or you live in a mansion! 🙂

    • Amy W.  

      Oh, that’s NOT our restroom. Ours is tiny compared to the one in the picture. Abbey still has trouble using large potties and public potties. But she has time to become comfortable with that! That’s a great story about your kindergartner! Thanks for sharing.

  9. zen mummy  

    This couldn’t have come along at a better time for me ~ thank you! Our 2.5 yeard old sort of wants to use the potty, but she isn’t always sure when she’s about to go. We’re keeping it pretty low-key, and I’m sure she’ll get there in her own time, but any and all tips are gratefully received.

  10. Mary

    My girl was ready to train at 18.5 months and pretty darn close to completely accident free a month later. I was surprised at all the media out there that said not to try training before age two, and I’m still surprised at all the comments I get about how she’s “already” trained. In my opinion, an early attempt can yield surprising results. She was “ready” only in that when without diaper she would state “tee-tee” right before she peed. I’d scoop her up and we’d run mid pee to the potty and she’d finish and get an m and m for a reward. Worked amazingly well, and within two weeks she was heading for the potty herself without prompting. but if I had waited for other signs of “readyness” we might never have given the potty a try. Other factors I attribute to success are using cloth diapers so she knew when she was wet, and giving her lots of diaper free time in our fenced in backyard. (that was actually to heal a persistent diaper rash, but pointing out to her when she was going helped with her own potty awareness!)

  11. Amy  

    Sage advice, Amy. Thank you for sharing this with other parents. 🙂