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5 Responses to Raising Your Spirited Child

  1. Jenny  

    My three-year-old, Suzi, is sensitive. There are certain things that get her very upset, like a week or two ago when we were on a playdate and one of her friends ran a little ahead as we walked. She thought he had “left” her and cried and screamed for him to come back. This happened a few times in the hour or two we played. She gets so upset and angry and now that you mention it, she probably gets this from me. When things don’t go the way I had envisioned, I freak out too!

    My other daughter is 14 months. She needs to be held a lot, loves to nurse (I’m pregnant so this is getting harder) and can be a challenge in ways that are hard to describe. My parents will occasionally keep her but they have to rest up for it. She won’t go to sleep on her own either.

    Some days I don’t know how I’ll make it until 5:00 when my husband gets home. I just thank God I am not a military wife with a deployed husband. My hat is off to them–I don’t know how they do it!

    I think part of the problem is that I was NOT raised the way I want to raise my own kids. I think it’s harder to figure things out when you have to change your lifelong inner concept of how parents should treat their children.

  2. Jenny  

    Oh, and I like what you say about saying yes to things that aren’t dangerous. I’ve told my husband we need to set several basic boundaries to follow so we aren’t just saying no ALL the time. I am thinking as long as no one is getting hurt and property is not being destroyed, the activity is usually an okay one. It’s easy to say no out of annoyance or because the child is playing in a way we just hadn’t thought of.

  3. Kat

    I too have 2 spirited (but very different from each other) children. My son (youngest) also wanted to be held all the time, so we did, we babywore him all over the place. He also cries at the drop of a hat. He cries when you say no to him, like if he’s climbing onto the kitchen table and you can see how his foot is about to slip! I am still trying to figure out how to balance the No/Yes thing with him!!! I haven’t read the book you mention, but I think I need to!

  4. Heather

    I loved reading this, I had never really delved into the “spirited” attributes of a child, it describes my son to a tee! I really connected to a lot of what you said about your girls, especially the sensitivity, intensity, and how perceptive they can be. Your daughter sounds JUST like my son with the sensitivity, we have the same tag and sock issues, and he will have a meltdown if the seams on his pants don’t line up just right on his inner thighs, and things like that. Getting dressed is one of the hardest tasks we go through each day, and it is not uncommon for him to change clothes up to six times in a day. I get really frustrated and annoyed with it, mostly because I don’t understand it myself and a lot of the time these little things hold us up or make us late, or because I know I am going to have to clean up all those clothes that are back on the floor yet again. He is also extremely intense in just about any activity he becomes engaged in. I don’t mind this at all, although sometimes it is perceived by others as competitiveness, or it appears that he is not having fun when he plays because he takes everything so seriously, but this is just how he enjoys things. He has always done this, it is just a part of who he is. I think I am going to get the book and read more about this so that I can be a better, more understanding parent to my spirited son. Good luck to you 😉 and thanks for the eye opening article!

  5. Pingback: Just Say No | Natural Parents Network