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5 Responses to The Two Minds of Parenting

  1. Amy  

    Lovely, Juliet! 🙂 The stakes ARE high and real. You are committed for the long haul.

    You know, I’d like to stand the idea that “this is not socially valued” on its head.

    Who is this social system we are looking to provide or affirm this value? Is it the adults who have lost touch with their child selves? Is it the fathers who may have a sense of what mothering is, but not really? Is it the childless who may have a judgment, but not the experience? Is it other mothers who are finding their way?

    I am not sure our societies don’t value us just being with our children. I think it may be that we have bought into the bussle and hussle; the business of being adults.

    It is this distraction from simply being, which our little ones reintroduce us to, that points us either away from our back to the true value of being – being in this moment, being with our little ones, contributing to the creation of their little, growing selves.

    I think, really, our society does value present mothering, deeply connected mothering, gracious mothering. Because the results of those efforts reflect well on everyone…

    Maybe it’s just high time we value ourselves and our experiences and let it flow from here, now… 🙂

    Which is what I feel you communicated so well in this post. Thank you.

    • Juliet Kemp

      Mm, thank you for such a thoughtful comment!

      I think that society implicitly values the *effects* of present mothering/parenting, in, as you say, the effects of the efforts in supporting growing humans. But explicitly and overtly, we’re regularly told that it’s not “important”, in terms of “the business of being adults”. Even if we ourselves overtly choose to reject that, it’s hard sometimes to *do* it. In the same way that other sorts of societal messages can be hard to ignore/reject even if you know you want to do that.

      But yes, absolutely, it’s time for us to choose to value ourselves and our experiences 🙂

  2. Sarah Brumberg

    This resonated with me, and I am so glad that I read this. It was so important to me that I read it aloud to my partner. Wow. Sometimes I feel that I am the only mother struggling with this identity crisis. It is very refreshing to know that I am not alone. Thank you for making me feel normal, or at least, accepted.

    • Juliet Kemp

      Hi Sarah — I’m so glad that it resonated with you, and thank you for commenting! As you say, it’s good to know that I’m not alone 🙂

  3. Vanessa Betcher

    Thank you for saying this so well. I still feel this way and my son is 3 years old now. I am often sucked into Facbook land as I crave some adult interaction during the day while my husband is at work.