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11 Responses to Six Ways to Bond With Your Unborn Baby

  1. Lauren  

    Ah, I’m so glad you’re talking about this openly! It has taken me awhile with all three of my pregnancies to feel that connection. I heard someone say it was most common to happen when the mother felt movement, which makes sense to me β€”Β and yet there’s some pressure to feel it well before then, isn’t there? Plus, you’ve had such a hard pregnancy, and that can’t have been easy.

    Anyway, these are fantastic ideas for bonding! I loved how my Hypnobabies practice led me through talking to (in my head) my unborn baby, giving a nickname to … well, him, though I didn’t know his sex at the time, and imagining holding him in my arms. There was something very lovely about that process. Even though I knew he wasn’t really hearing what I said to him in my head, it felt so right and I couldn’t help but think that my good thoughts were transferring to him in other ways, like through lower stress levels (at least temporarily, ha ha).

    • Luschka  

      Yeah, I think it’s unacceptable to not be thrilled the moment you find out, but I’m glad that we’re 3D enough as people to be able to grow and develop – rather than 2D TV characters where everything happens on cue, if you know what I mean.

      I think the difference between the emotions in the two pregnancies has probably been the biggest surprise for me!

      And yeah – hypnobabies, focusing in, relaxation and meditation, I think they all do the same thing, and it’s awesome!

  2. Shannon @ The Artful Mama

    Thank you for sharing such a personal confession with us. I am dealing with pre-natal depression with this current pregnancy and I could not connect right away with this baby. I wanted to have a second but once it happened I couldn’t wrap my head around the pregnancy. I really like the bath suggestion. I have begun to connect with the baby since starting to feel movement and dealing with my depression. Another thing that has helped me to connect was helping my son connect with his sibling. Thank you again for sharing your experience with us.

    • Luschka  

      You’re so right Shannon. I realise in retrospect that I suffered from depression through my first two trimesters. It was very hard – feeling like an unfit mother to my already breathing baby, feeling like a failure as a woman who can’t even get ‘knocked up’ without it being a drama, and worst of all, the HORRIBLE guilt about the medication I had to take to keep me alive and what possible effect it could have on my baby.

      I really hope your depression fades as the pregnancy progresses and you can find the bond – remembering too that many mothers don’t feel it until they hold their babies.

      You’re right about connecting with older siblings too – I hadn’t thought of that, but my daughter being excited about being ‘a big thithter’ really goes a long way to relieving the concerns about her in all this πŸ™‚

  3. Charise Rohm Nulsen  

    Thank you for being so honest. I can relate, and I think these suggestions to make a conscious bond are really important.

  4. Momma Jorje

    Be aware – the same difference between babies can happen with bonding at birth. I was so glad I had read that before my 2nd was born because I didn’t feel the same connection with her that I had immediately following the birth of my 1st.

    Great suggestions here! I wish I’d seen some of these sooner. I had no idea that baby can distinguish touch. I loved rubbing on my belly and also found my husband rubbing my belly very soothing and I couldn’t figure out why. (This is probably why!)

    For me, once I knew there was likely something “wrong” with our child, I knew that our baby needed to know we loved it. I started talking to the baby right then! So by the time we actually got Spencer’s diagnosis, I felt much love for him already. I think making him real like that had to have helped ease the acceptance.

    And I loved poking back at him in utero!

  5. Gretchen  

    I LOVE your ideas – especially choosing a special song πŸ™‚ I did so many fun things during my pregnancy with my first and her baby book/box is brimming. It already feels daunting to do that for #2 as I hardly have any energy which makes me feel like I’m already giving this baby less πŸ™ Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this – you definitely aren’t alone!

  6. Andreina

    Beautiful post! Thanks πŸ™‚

  7. Jennifer

    I am nearly 34 weeks pregnant with my first, and actively tried NOT to bond in my first trimester. I went through infertility treatment with this pregnancy, and I had somehow convinced myself that I would miscarry because my body didn’t deserve carry a healthy pregnancy. It was only after I began to feel movement (around 21 weeks) that I truly felt connected to this baby. Thanks for your post.

  8. Christtine

    Thank you sooo much for ur posting. It hit home exaclty…I need this support with woman that are going through what I am

  9. barbarq  

    Am 10 weeks pregnant am suffering …i cant stop vomiting and always week i tryed everything its not working,always sleeping the whole day course am tired of vomiting