Welcome to the June 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids and Animals
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories and wisdom about kids and pets.
The Naked Deranged Parrot (hereafter referred to as “NDP”; her actual name is Valentine) is exactly what she sounds like.
“Parrot, free to good home, is missing feathers and has some issues.”
Her “issues,” as it turned out, are that she is not super fond of her gorgeous wrought-iron cage with dangly toys and hidey holes (encapsulated within a meth house). Instead, she prefers to hide under furniture on our floor, darting out to attack unsuspecting passersby like a miniature territorial T-rex. We contacted her owners and she was relinquished to our animal rescue, which is how she came to live at my house on Valentine’s Day.
My son, Zion, was raised with our rescue efforts as part of the scenery of his childhood. “Good dog habits” are second nature to him, and he approaches new dogs with a combination of respect and fearlessness that almost always puts them at ease. When we place our dogs for adoption with a confident “kid-friendly” tag, it’s because they’ve spent time with Zion or one of our other foster families with kids.
At nine years of age, I don’t have to remind him not to put his face close to a dog’s face. I don’t have to tell him to put his hand out, palm down, before he tries to pet a dog. To avoid their ears until he knows them. To back away when their tails droop and their ears lay back. If you ask him to demonstrate what to do in case of a dog attack, he will drop to the ground and assume a face-down fetal position. He knows what resource-guarding is. He recognizes a potential food fight and knows how to break it up before it becomes a knock-down-drag-out-teeth-baring-free-for-all. He knows to grab a dog around its waist; that tugging hard on a small dog’s collar can cause a collapsed trachea. He knows that grapes can cause kidney failure, but a few tortilla chips or cheerios under the table never hurt anyone.
While I am certainly proud of this knowledge, he knows these things in the same way that practicing math flash cards every day helps you memorize multiplication tables. Once you do it enough, it’s automatic. “Good dog habits” can be taught.
Every day brings something new into our lives – a new situation to discuss and from which we can learn (bad people did this to this dog, and here’s what we can do to help it), a new catastrophe to test our limits (yes, we do have to pick up all the trash the dogs scattered around the backyard when we went to the store, or codes enforcement will fine us), a new inconvenience that causes us to rearrange our lives (yes, we can cancel our visit to the park so we can drive an hour to pick up a dog on death row).
I have been roundly criticized for the amount of energy my family puts into rescue efforts. I was once asked to drive an hour and a half away to pick up a mama dog and her two-day-old puppies – they were going to be put to sleep in their small, rural shelter. My son spent the night vomiting from the flu; the following morning I bundled him up as much as I could and stuck him in the back seat with a bucket. We picked up mama and her puppies, dropped them off at our shelter, and headed home for snuggles and chicken soup.
Another morning, I received a call that a puppy had to be picked up from a home in another city before 3pm or he would be taken to a shelter. A quick assessment of the situation: should we allow puppy to go to the shelter, contract whatever diseases happen to be flying around in that environment, and maybe end up being put to sleep? Or should we pack up the math homework and do it in the car on the way to pick up the puppy?
(We do a lot of math in the car.)
Criticisms aside, I believe my son is learning important lessons from the work that we do in rescue. We don’t judge books by their covers. The NDP being rescued from the meth house could actually be an awesome mini T-Rex, remember? We know about commitment, because a no-show from us means certain death for the dogs we were scheduled to pick up. We know about prioritizing and time management, because sometimes death row trumps algebra (not always – but sometimes.).
More than anything, though, I believe my son is learning that it is his job, as a resident of this planet, to meet its needs. We don’t talk about who hurt these dogs; we don’t blame people in dire situations who have been forced to give up beloved family pets. We talk about what we can do to help alleviate some of the suffering. How are we able to contribute to the cause? I teach him these things in the same vein as, “Please pick up the trash on the curb and toss it in the bin. I know it isn’t yours, but it’s there and you are able to meet that need.”
Everyone has their passions, their contribution to society. I wouldn’t bat an eye if my son decided that animal rescue wasn’t his, but I do believe the lessons he’s learning right now in his work with our organization will set him up for a lifetime of positive contributions to the world.
Sara Mabin is a working, volunteering, homeschooling mom of two awesome kids, Zion and Serafina (and wife to Mike, who is super tolerant of the Crazy she brings into his life on a daily basis). She believes in controlled chaos, unconditional love, and mutual respect for other people’s journeys. She has been working with Reno Ranch Rescue since her mother, Tracey Reno, founded it almost five years ago. You can find her there (http://renoranchrescue.com) and occasionally at her blog, Making My Own Magic.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- What Animal Rescue is Teaching My Children
- Tips on Picking the Perfect Kid-friendly Dog — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl shares some tips she’s learned on how to find the perfect child-friendly dog for your family.
- All New Animals Are “Woof” — Baby Boy is still learning animals. Life Breath Present doesn’t yet have any at home, but he still believes that all animals are “woof.” Here’s the proof.
- Dude, where’s my Horse? — Adora loves horses, but Erin at And Now, for Something Completely Different really doesn’t. However, Adora’s longing wins out; learn about their interactions with horses here.
- Weighing the Pros and Cons of a Family Pet — When is a family ready for a pet? Donna at Eco-Mothering discusses her worries as well as the benefits of adopting a dog, including how it will affect her seven-year-old daughter.
- Parenting Challenge–Learning from Animals–running the emotional gammut — Survivor at Surviving Mexico writes about the emotional learning her family has experienced through sharing their lives with animals.
- Puppy Love for our Family — In case you didn’t catch it from the blog title, Pug in the Kitchen, the family pet is an integral part of Laura’s family and home life!
- Vegetarianism and Animal Rights: Explaining to Children — Becca at The Earthling’s Handbook is mostly vegetarian…not 100%, and not because of animal rights…yet she has found that the idea of not hurting animals is the aspect of vegetarianism most easily understood by a young child. She explains what her son has learned about not eating meat and how it has affected his social life.
- Pets & kids: The realities — Lauren at Hobo Mama lays out the benefits and drawbacks of pet ownership when young kids are involved.
- HOW PETS CONNECT WITH EMOTIONS: KIDS & PETS AFTER 9-11 — Parenting Expert Laurie Hollman at Parental Intelligence discusses the importance of pets in lowering stress after traumatic situations, why children choose certain pets, the loss of a pet, and the role of parents in teaching care-giving to animals in a warm, gentle way.
- It’s not our house without a dog! — Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work describes why giving a loving and disciplined home to at least one shelter dog at a time enriches the life of her family, and has become a vivid memory in the minds of her children.
- Canine Haikus —
Kids, dog, haikus, at
Dionna (Code Name: Mama).
- Beanie’s Bunnies — Our Mindful Life‘s Sofi Bean has gotten her first pets!
- Montessori Care of Pets — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells about her experiences with kids and pets and shares Montessori resources for pet care.
- How to Nurture Your Child’s Awareness of Spirit Guides — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama hosts a post from her regular contributor Lauren of SpiralElixir.com. Lauren looks at the concept of animals as spirit guides and how deeply children are connected to this realm. She also encourages us to open ourselves up as parents to the reality that children are naturally more connected to the animal world, giving us ideas on how to nurture their relationships with their Spirit Guides.
- No Puppy! — Meg at the Boho Mama shares her tips for dealing with toddlers and the (very real) fear of animals.
- Year of the Pets — Jorje of Momma Jorje wasn’t sure she ever wanted pets again, but things have changed a lot this year!
- 3 Reasons Why Keeping Backyard Chickens is Good for my Toddler — Bianca, The Pierogie Mama, started keeping backyard chickens for the benefit of their eggs, but what she wasn’t prepared for was what they would teach her two year old daughter too.